Table for 4, please.

Hello!

Been lacking on the blog as of late as I have just been a bit busy these past couple of weeks. But, to give you the latest update… everything (so far) is looking super awesome with our little twinsies. I am almost 10 weeks along and so far feeling pretty good. My biggest complaint right now is tiredness… and I’m not really complaining as I know things could be way worse for me. There was actually a time in my life (not that long ago, in fact) that I would have done anything to be pregnant and feeling miserable.  I always told myself if the time were to ever come for me, I would never complain about how I was feeling as I know what its like to be a woman listening to those complaints wishing so desperately to be pregnant. I look at is a blessing. And that is what we have been given.

We have finally been discharged from the fertility clinic as of last Wednesday! Our last appointment was wonderful. We got to see AND HEAR the heartbeats from both twins. What a joy it was. A moment both A and I will never forget. We left the clinic feeling great and so lucky that we managed to successfully become pregnant on the first try with IVF/ICSI.

 I have my first OBGYN appointment next week. In a typical pregnancy, I wouldn’t see my OBGYN until 20+ weeks, however because its twins I am in to see her earlier.  Until then, these 2 little beans will continue to grow and I will continue to update you all on their progress.

xo

I got two, babe.

We went back to the clinic on Friday for our 7 week ultrasound.

We arrived at the clinic and we were sent down to wait outside of one of the ultrasound rooms. A was feeling pretty good about everything, but of course, I was a nervous wreck. I was just worried that they weren’t going to see anything in the ultrasound and we were going to go home with news no one who has gone through the IVF process wants to hear.

Our amazing nurse came in and said hi and “Congratulations” to us. I still wasn’t buying the whole “yay you are pregnant” business until I saw a baby in there. One of the Fertility Dr’s came in the room to perform the ultrasound. He is very sweet, speaks quietly and you can tell he is very well liked by his colleagues in the clinic. We haven’t had much contact with this particular Dr. through our process, but I had heard such amazing things about him.

So… in went that cam and up on the screen was not 1, but 2 babies!!!!!!! I immediately saw that there were two sacs on the screen and the Dr. said – “well, we have two little passengers on board”. The tears started streaming down my face. I was in SHOCK! Twins! TWINS! Within seconds he was referring to twin A and twin B and I couldn’t stop shaking.”I’m pregnant with TWINS???????”

They couldn’t get a good read on Twin B as s/he was hiding and tucked away.  Both babies were measuring at 7 weeks 1 day and we saw the heartbeat of twin A which was magical. Next steps are to go back to the clinic next Wednesday for a follow-up ultrasound to see how twin b is doing.

So – here we are. Almost 1 year ago to the day, A was told he was “infertile” and we he would never have biological children of his own… and I am now pregnant with 2 babies. 2 babies made by us!

We are both still in shock right now, and I can honestly say that the news of even being pregnant in the first place hasn’t become real….. now throw in a twin pregnancy??? Holy shit!

All things aside, we are so lucky to have made it this far. So so lucky. I wouldn’t trade this feeling (combined with morning sickness) for anything in the world.

xo

 

6 weeks

“You are 6 weeks pregnant.”

It’s still really hard for me to believe that I am actually pregnant. I feel like I am still in a dream. At times, it’s all so very overwhelming and hard to believe. I don’t think things will actually become a reality until we go for our first ultrasound next Friday. Which of course, I am a nervous wreck about! It seems like ever since this whole IVF process started I haven’t stopped worrying. I’ve been told this is pretty normal…

I went to my family doctor last week just to let her know I was pregnant. She gave me a whole bunch of information on nutrition, screening, immunizations, etc. etc. etc. I actually haven’t read any of it as I am still so overwhelmed and in disbelief. My sister-in-law even gave me 2 -3 books, (one being the classic “What to Expect when you are Expecting”) and I still haven’t opened any of them just yet. I know I am just being over-cautious with everything. I will come around.

Good news however, my BETA results came back from being at the Dr last week. 4 days after my first BETA of 1600, I was at a beautiful 8500! I hope this is a good sign of more positivity to come.

Taking it one day at a time….

xo

The Results are in…

I have been putting off this post as I have just needed some time to let things settle in. I will get to the point and say – I’m Pregnant!! WOW! I still find those words very hard to say AND write as I never thought that this day would come. 

Last Saturday night, I had some spotting. I was feeling very crampy all day. I went into full on panic mode as I was pretty convinced my period was coming and this was all over for us. A was so sweet and did very well talking me through my tears, telling me that all was going to be fine. I was still a mess. The next morning I woke up and the spotting was gone. Dr. Google told me that it was probably implantation bleeding…. but I wasn’t buying it. (Looking back, I believe it was.. the timing was right on for it)

The week continued, and so did my rollercoaster of emotions. It was a long week with so many tears and worries that looking back, I have no idea how I managed to to work.

Friday morning we both went to the clinic for the official pregnancy blood test. I was in and out in about 5 minutes and we headed home. Then the REAL wait started. The clinic usually calls after 2:00 pm with the results. The phone rang at 2:05. I let it ring 3 times before I answered it. I answered and our sweet nurse asked me how I was feeling, if I had any cramps or spotting and a few other things. In my mind I just wanted her to GET TO THE POINT! She finally told me I was pregnant and I nearly passed out. She was shocked I didn’t know already. She said most women take a home pregnancy test; but I was advised by so many not to… so I didn’t! She told me my hcg level was at 1600, and normally they like to see it over 100. Great to hear! 

Our next appointment is scheduled for October 12th where we will go back to the clinic for an ultrasound. I’m excited as anything, but also very cautious as things are still VERY early. 

I honestly never thought this day would come…. we are thrilled. Absolutely thrilled. 

xo

Hanging on for dear life.

I would be lying if I said I haven’t cried at least once per day since implantation.  I think I can confidently say that I know this is very normal. The other day a friend sent me a text and asked me how I was doing. My response was: “one minute I am positive and feeling good about things, then within seconds i’m miserable and convinced it didn’t work and I’m not pregnant.” Her reply: “Ok, sounds about right”. HA!

It’s been a slow moving week, with many ups and downs. We celebrated our 2 year wedding anniversary on September 11th (Tuesday). It was my first day back to work after being off for over a week. I came home miserable, tired and an emotional piece of shit. (Doesn’t help that I went back to work with 45 voice mails to return. Majority of the calls I had to return were to low-income families who can’t afford to put their children into recreational programs. Funny how the people who have no money, have NO problem having children?!!?) Sorry, I digress….. We did go out for a fabulous dinner. That lifted my spirits!

Being back at work has been good for me, as I have been able to limit my Dr. Googling. This week however, I booked in various meetings for the week of September 24th. It just kills me to think that by the time those meetings come around, we will know if I am pregnant or not. I also went to the Dentist. They booked in my next appointment for 9 months from now. OMG! Will I be bringing a baby to my next dentist appointment????Gaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwd. Part of me just wants to get this wait over with RIGHT NOW, but part of me doesn’t want to know as I am terrified of dissapointment.

Someone else told me the other day that good things come for those who wait..

I’m waiting.

xo

Pitty panty party.

I have reached day 4 of my 15 day wait. (yes, more than a 2 week wait for this girl) 11 more days to go. I can do it, I can do it! The thought of going to the clinic next Friday for a blood test, and waiting for the results via a phone call makes me want to barf. Full on barf… barfity, barf, barf, barf. I actually can’t even think about it right now or I’ll barf.

The beautiful Fall weather is upon us and i’m loving every minute of it! Fall is my absolute fav time of year. The leaves start to change colour, evenings start to get cooler, warm hoodies and cute boots come back out of the closet, and its all around a lovely time of year. I start using my crock pot more, and making a big pot of soup becomes a weekly tradition. Soooo fabulous.

It’s nice to have something to look forward to, regardless of what the outcome will be in 11 short days.

I’ve decided to not go back to work tomorrow as I feel one more day off will benefit my mental health. Today was the first day I woke up feeling better. I am still bloated and generally have a crappy feeling going on, but taking tomorrow off will just shorten the week for me at work, which in turn, will hopefully make the week go by a bit faster. I thought I would summarize a few things that have happened over the past few days:

– 3 good friends had babies this past week. I managed to not shed I tear, but actually be excited for once. Who IS this girl??

– Another friend announced she was pregnant last night. I only see this friend once a year, and before I even got to the party I asked my other friend if she was pregnant (I just had a feeling she was), and of course she was. I was thankful I had the heads up so it wasn’t as mind numbing when she told me. Again, didn’t shed a tear or seemed to be bothered by it. Perhaps its because I am the closest to being pregnant than I have ever been before?? Who knows.

– I finally pooped today. I’ve haven’t had a BM since before my transfer. I think part of me had the fear of pooping out an embryo… LOL, its true. Even though I know that could never happen, it still crossed my mind. So either it was the fear of poopin’ it out, or all the meds I’ve been on. Or maybe both. Probably more the meds part then the poopy part.

– I NEVER knew there was such a market out there for panty liners. I went to the drugstore earlier last week in preparation for vageen-al progesterone suppositories and was overwhelmed. I even gave A a lesson on ‘panty liners’. He had no idea they existed. Saying the word ‘panty’ always makes me shudder. I don’t know why. Panty. Panty.

– I went to my brother and sister-in-laws today for a visit to see the kids, and them, of course.The kids were actually napping but we had a nice visit anyway. A was golfing and I was sitting at home about to start googling “3 day transfer success rates” so I needed a distraction. Here’s where it gets interesting. When it was time to leave, I walked out of their house and my truck wasn’t where I had parked it. I had a mild panic attack until I noticed the truck was half way down the street… positioned in the MIDDLE of the street! SHIT!!!! Cue – MAJOR PANIC ATTACK!I didn’t put the parking break on and the truck rolled all the way down the street. THANK GOODNESS it didn’t hit anyone, or any thing. Screw your head on, J! Clearly I am very distracted.

Anyway… that’s it for now. I will be right here (patiently) waiting if you need me. Oh, and if you need any ‘panty (gross) liners” I have lots. I think I finally found the kind I like – 3 boxes later.

Barf.

xo

PUPO!!

PREGNANT UNTIL PROVEN OTHERWISE!!!

Ahhhh!!!

This morning the lab at the clinic called us to say, “come on down!!!!”. It was almost 9:00 am, so I jumped in the shower, threw my hair up in a pony and away we went! A and I stopped at my fav tea place so I could fill my bladder with yummy-ness for the 1 hour drive. We arrived at the clinic right before 11:00 am. I was the only transfer today so they were waiting for us! I was brought  into a room to change and then went right on the bed for the magic to happen. Oh how romantic. I had to sign a few papers to confirm I was me, and then the discussion was did we want to put 1 or 2 embroys back. A and I had decided that if the embroys only made it to day 3 (today), that we would put 2 back. If the embroys made it to day 5, we would most likely just put 1 in. 

Side note: I know and understand that success rates don’t really change between a 3 or a 5 day transfer. My heart was hoping for a 5 day blastocyst, but deep down I know that those embabies needed to be back inside me where it is warm and cozy. 

So back to the discussion. Without a doubt, the nurse who was with us, the lab “embroy babysittter”, and the fertility Dr. suggested to transfer 2. It was an easy decison for both A and I as we had a plan already. Done, 2 it is.

The procedure itself was easy peasy. Just as everyone says, nothing more than a typical pap smear. We watched on the big flat screen as the 2 embroys slowly made their way into me. It was amazing and over within minutes.The Dr. was then on his way to whatever other miracle he needed to perfom, and we were left with the nurse to give us our next step plan.

So.. here we are. Currently PUPO. I am excited, nervous, anxious and still feeling quiet bloated from egg retreival on Monday. I was reminded that my ovaries were the shape of small melons and that the bloated blah feeling will stick around for a little while. Biggest thing is to take it easy. I am ok with that. Right now I am scheduled to go back to work on Monday, however, if I am not feeling up to it I still have a couple more days off via the Drs orders if needed. Just going to play this one by ear. 

Official pregnancy test date is scheduled for September 21st. Sweet jesus that seems SO far away! In the meantime, I plan on keeping busy, but still just laying low. Dog walks with our fur-baby and hang outs with friends will be a must! The support and love we have received from our friends and family is something I can’t even explain! I honestly don’t know how we would have gotten to this point if it wasn’t for the support network we have. Not to  mention blog friends, too. 

Furthermore, we will find out next week how the rest of the embryos are doing. We are hoping they make it to a day 5 or 6 blastocycst so that they can be frozen for the future. The other good thing is, they only needed to use 1 of the 4 vials we have of A’s frozen sperm so that was wonderful to hear! 

That is it for now! Let the waiting…. begin.

xo

 

Lucky # 7

The results are in…. drum roll puuuhllleeze!

Out of the 14 eggs that were retrieved on Monday:

12 eggs were mature enough to fertilize. 

Once the 12 were fertilized, 7 eggs fertilized normally!

So right now, we have 7 lovely embabies growing and dividing nicely. Tomorrow the clinic will call to let us know if we come in for a transfer that day (3 day transfer)  or wait for Saturday (5 day transfer).

Feeling really great about these results! I just hope and pray that our little beauties continue to grow/divide over night and we get some more great news tomorrow morning!

In other news, I am still feeling quiet bloated and a bit sore from the procedure on Monday. Nothing I can’t handle, however. I’ve enjoyed watching day time trash television… 🙂

I will be dreaming of our 7 embryos tonight!

xo

EGG-TASTIC!

Saturday morning we were back at the clinic for what we were hoping to be our last ultrasound and blood work visit – and it was! We got a call later in the afternoon giving us instructions on our next steps. I took our regular dose of 3 injections at 5:00pm on Saturday night, and then took the final HCG “trigger” shot at 9:30 pm. Egg retrieval planned for Monday morning.

So now its Monday afternoon and I am home from egg retrieval. Everything went great! They managed to get 14 eggs and we were absolutely thrilled! I thought on the way in this morning, that I would be happy with 7 or 8…. but I will take 14!!

The procedure itself was actually a bit more painful than I thought it was going to be. They had to give me another dose of medication as the pain was almost un bearable. They worked on my right side first and some of my eggs were packed in there tightly so that was what caused the pain. My left side was much easier, and it was done and over with in no time. Phew!

Next steps? I am now at home resting for the week…aka, off work! The clinic won’t call me until Wednesday to give the report on how the eggs fertilized. At that point a plan will be made for either a 3 day transfer on Thursday, or a 5 day transfer on Saturday.

Time for another nap…. stay tuned on Wednesday!

xo

 

Labour Day

Where I am from, Ontario, Canada to be exact, we have a holiday on Monday. Labour day. Guess what happens on Labour day?? EGG RETRIEVAL DAY is what happens! Funny how egg retrieval falls on Labour day Monday.. I will say no more…..

 Today is now day 9 of injections and we are still going strong! We were at the clinic on Thursday morning and this morning for the routine “dildo cam” action and blood work.  We have to go again tomorrow morning to make sure the ‘ol eggies are a growing! So far, so good. Everything seems to be ‘growing’ well. They want me to do another day of injections (after today) to really get my eggs growing to their full potential. I was told that some of my eggs perfect and ready to go, and some still need a bit of time. I am ok with this.. I will take the time needed to prepare those delicate little eggies so they are just perfect! 

I am now starting to feel a bit more bloated than usual, and of course, tired. I don’t think it helps that we have been up at 5:30 am to be at the clinic for 7:30am the last 2 mornings in a row. But we are troopers and we are doing we have to do.  I am getting really nervous that things are moving so quickly! It’s hard to believe (providing all goes well on Monday and the days following) that I could be PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise) by next weekend!!!!!!I can’t believe it.

Until then, I will continue with positive thoughts and take everything one.day.at.a.time.

xo